THAT WHICH CONNECTS US
For her final college photography project, my sister asked if i could write an article about the theme ‘connections’. No other guidelines were given and I was left to my own devices. As I tried to come up with something worthy of going in her zine, the first thing that came to mind was a sticker I had seen stuck onto a lamp post which read ‘We have far more in common than that which divides us’. A tribute to the late Jo Cox MP. It seems like such an obvious statement but I feel it is one that is often forgotten.
While there are lots of obvious and tangible ways that things can be connected, when I think of the word ‘connection’ what really springs to mind are the complex and invisible connections that I experience every second of every day. The connection I feel when I am talking to my work colleague and she and I discover that we both feel like the only weight we ever put on turns straight into a double chin. The connection I feel with my Mum when over a phone call one evening we realise that by chance, we are both having tortellini for dinner, despite being 200 miles apart. The connection I feel with every female actress in every American rom-com ever made.
How can I feel a connection with someone who isn’t real? (The mystery of ‘connections’ continues – ‘the plot thickens’ some might say.) Sometimes the connection you make with strangers can be the most memorable. When someone is snoring on the bus and you catch the eye of another passenger who is finding the whole ordeal just as funny as you are, a silent mutual acknowledgement and connection is made. For a second, the feeling of detachment that is part of everyday life is forgotten.
Just for a second.
When it comes to family, it goes without saying, that if you spend every day of your life from the day you were born with someone, you are going to form a bond. These people know you inside and out. Whether that is a good or a bad thing, is out of your hands. They know what makes you sad or happy and they definitely know how to piss you off. Whether they do this deliberately or not, again, is out of your hands. Mine know what makes me cry with laughter because the same thing makes them cry with laughter too. It is easy to forget in the bustle of life that every single person you meet has a family of their own, and friends of their own, and a sense of humour, and some serious pet peeves. We all merge into one sea of people who are unrelated and detached to each other’s lives. It’s easy to hurl abuse at a slow driver because you are in a rush, it is just as easy to forget that that same driver may be lost and nervous in a new place and could simply do with a second of patience from those around them while they figure it out.
We each see our lives through tunnel vision, through no fault of our own. Our minds can only ever understand our own minds. We can only choose what we ourselves can do. In this sense we are on our own. However, every one of us is doing the same thing. Each life is different but the connections within them are far greater than the differences surrounding them.
I think Jo Cox was spot on.